Saturday, February 4, 2012

The Dukes See a Movie: The Woman in Black

Harry Potter: Life After Hogwarts

It was a Friday night and so you know what that meant for the Dukes. Pedicures!!! Oh wait scratch that, it was time to see another movie! This time we actually had a few different movies we wanted to see so we decided to wait and pick the movie based on who we had coming. As dirtbags we didn't do this for the people coming with us but rather to figure out how to maximize our own enjoyment. It is common knowledge that it is better to see a scary movie with ladies present (partly because having females around forces us to act like men and not shriek like little girls and jump at things. That and if you are dating the cuddling is nice). Seeing that we would have a handful of women with us we decided to see Harry Potter: Life After Hogwarts The Woman in Black with Daniel Radcliffe.

As I was researching this movie I came across some crazy connections. As some of you might know this movie was a remake of a 1989 made for (British)TV movie. What you may not know is that the original main character was played by none other than Adrian Rawlins. "Who is he and why should I care?" you might ask. Well he happens to have also played a character by the name of JAMES POTTER. That's right, Daniel Radcliffe's father in Harry Potter was also the first man to play the role that he, Daniel Radcliffe, was currently filling.

Your face right at this moment

Here is another crazy Harry Potter connection. Ciaran Hinds plays as I like to call him "man with a car" in the Woman in Black. In this role he is one of the few people willing to help Daniel Radcliffe do what he needed to do. He also played a character in Harry Potter who was one of those willing to help Mr. Radcliffe. He was none other than Aberforth Dumbledore. Okay I admit that one wasn't as cool as the first one but I needed to flesh out the connection part. Don't judge me, it makes you look petty and unattractive (I didn't mean that but you made me say it.).

As the film starts we see Daniel Radcliffe dealing with some personal grief. He is a widower and has been left to take care of his four year old son (who happens to be the most adorable child ever. I seriously hope my kids look and act like that when I have them. Oh here is one more tidbit, the child in this movie is Daniel Radcliffe's godson in real life. Once again, mind blown). Due to the problems he has had in his life his job performance has been suffering. His boss took him aside and said that he was being given one last chance to save his position. All he had to do was go to a remote Northern English village and go over the final documents of some old lady who had passed away.

After he arrives in the village he starts to notice that the locals are being quite unfriendly and seem to be attempting to force him to head back to London. Our Mr. Potter Kipps is quite stubborn and will see this through so he can provide for his adorable child. He heads out to the manor house. This place seems super creepy from the get go. Here are some of the main reasons why.
  • For starters you can only make it out there at low tide so there are large stretches of the day where you are trapped on the estate.
  • Step off the road by two feet and you are now dead in a boggy marsh.
  • The house is quite rundown.
  • They have a graveyard chilling on the path up to the estate.
  • I swear I saw a feral cat in one of the yard shots.
  • The house is somehow full of leaves and bloody letters.
After settling himself down for an afternoon of paper work Mr. Kipps starts to hear some strange noises coming from different parts of the house and as a good horror movie star he goes to investigate instead of seeking shelter from the otherworldly beings he should know are waiting for him. While he is looking around he comes across some of the creepiest toys ever. I mean these parents must have hated children or just thought that kids shouldn't spend time sleeping.

Now you won't be sleeping either

He stops his search with an "I am being ridiculous" shake of his head after a bird tries to dive bomb him twice and gets back to work. The next day he comes back and more of the same happens but this time he decides to spend the night working because a creepy house can't get worse after dark right? Right? The whole night he spends him time being freaked out by mechanical toys, rocking chairs, ghosts, children ghosts(so much worse), poor lighting and doors that seem to be freaking magic locked, effing door!! (use your wand Mr. Wizard).

After each visit to the house and each visitation by the strange lady ghost something terrible happens in town. It turns out that each time someone sees the woman in black a child in town that that person sees is going to die from some crazy circumstance. the movie tells us that she does this in revenge for her child that was taken from her and subsequently died in the marshes around this house. We have a different theory. It is all a giant welfare scam. Think about it. If she has a host of children that should mean big bucks from the government plus dead kids don't need to eat so the money is basically all profit for our enterprising specter.

I don't want to ruin the end of the movie for you so I will just say that Mr. Kipps tries to rectify the wrongs done to the ghost to save future children and there is a train in the final scene. that probably doesn't make much sense but that should be incentive for you to see the movie and find out more about this train.

As a whole the Dukes liked this movie and found it to be quite entertaining. My favorite part was reaching back and grabbing the leg of one of the girls in our group. It freaked her out and made me chuckle so how could that be bad? This movie is probably the best scary movie we have seen in a few years.

Rating 3.75 Stars

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