Roller Derby: The Dukes New Love

As many of you might know I am a huge sports fan. I will watch anything that can tentatively be considered a sport (besides NASCAR. Screw you NASCAR). So when the opportunity came to watch a previously unseen sport I jumped at the chance. This new sport was roller derby. How could we lose? I mean this is a full contact sport on wheels with booty shorts and stockings. Did I mention that it is on wheels?

As we were going in I didn't know much more than that about the sport. We were just a bunch of youths looking for a good time on a Saturday night. As we started out it became fairly evident that we should not have let Ricky be the lead car. After missing our best exit options on the freeway he took us on a circuitous route through the sketchiest part of town imaginable. I seriously thought that if the sun set on us I would probably lose my tires at a stop light or be sold into white slavery to a salt mine.

I figured the best option would be to blend in to the background, and yes that is an actual photo of me.

Luckily we made it there without losing any people or car parts...barely. Where would you hold a roller derby match if you were in charge? If you answered an abandoned warehouse in South Salt Lake you are probably involved in some sort of voodoo, but you would be absolutely correct. So there we were in an empty warehouse with no heat and sitting on what appeared to be office chairs from the seventies.

We didn't know any of the players and both teams were local so we were in a bind on the team that we felt we should support. In watching the teams being announced I had a feeling that we needed to align ourselves with the Black Diamond Divas. There was no real reason for this choice but now the BDD has a fan for life in me.

Go team!!

The whole event was amazing. I really got into the game and I found myself yelling at opposing fans and staring down children. I don't think I can properly do this sport justice since everything was just so amazing. I mean they have some of the most amazing names ever. Here is just a small sampling of what they had to offer: Bruiser Ego, Stachebot 5000, Skaty Gaga and Punch Face Mama. The names were so great that it has inspired our local church basketball team to do the same thing. 

That is one classy jersey

One more thing I feel that I should mention is that the women that participate in this sport are incredibly nice. They are doing it for the money but rather because they want to have some fun. You can see thins int he way that they play and also in how they interact with fans. After the match I went to see if I could get my sign signed by members of the team. Not only were they willing to sign but they also found a sharpie for them to use.

All of this goes to show that trying something new can lead to great outcomes and also that we as the Dukes never make poor entertainment choices (Read: almost never. See: Red Sonja).  In the future I challenge all of you to go to at least one roller derby match, and when you go make sure you invite me as well.

Photo with me and the team captain. I look as giddy as a school boy.