Stuff Coombsy Says and Does: Vegas Edition

As all of you are well aware of by now Coombsy is a goldmine for fantastic comments and wonderful acts of randomness. Whether it be the trips he takes or the races he may or may not hate Coombsy has always kept me entertained. This held true for the trip we took to Vegas in December '09. On this trip we were down a Duke (We were without Ricky. Darn you ADP and your blackout periods.) but we did our best to keep morale high and the misdemeanors low.

 

As we tramped and vagabonded our way across the strip we decided to stop off at the old Coca Cola World for a look around and a tray of refreshing beverages from around the world. It is here where our first Coombsyism makes its appearance. We had hammered our way through five continents and 14 countries when we reached our final drink. It was an Italian drink called Beverly. It was clear in appearance and from its smell it had some heady pine notes. (Quick aside, if I were a drinking man I know I would be one of those pretentious wine drinkers that thinks a trip to Napa Valley for the wine festival is the greatest vacation ever.) 

 

We didn't know what we were in for. Look at our adorable innocence.

 

 

We were looking forward to giving Beverly a go. We were in for quite a shock. As the liquid first touched my lips I knew something was wrong. My taste buds seemed to be rejecting my offering and my eyes were starting to water in rage. It was horrible. I felt like I was drinking a cup full of slightly sour dental floss. We all had the same reaction of revulsion and horror and what had occurred. We took back our tray of drinks and started to leave the store feeling subdued. As we went down the escalator Coombsy put into words what we all thought. "Stupid Beverly, just like a woman to let you down."  We all paused and as one looked and Coombsy and just started to laugh. Who can argue with a man like Coombsy? I surely couldn't at that moment. It was all I could do to keep standing and trying to breathe.

  

 

The second comment came not much later in that same day. For the first days of our trip we had been staying with Danny's sister and brother-in-law at their house. We were very grateful to them and their hospitality but on our last night we wanted to stay and one of the casinos because it is a must when you go to Vegas. Our room was booked with two queen beds. We had four people (myself, Coombsy, Danny and McKell) and so we were going to have to sleep two to a bed.  We were walking down the strip talking out our plan of action. We joked that sleeping with Coombsy would be the short end of the stick and he came back with this wonder "Well someone is going to have to man up and sleep with me." It was so great. Here we were on the strip in the middle of a busy day and Coombsy loudly busts out with his man up phrase. We had no fewer than 4 people turn and give us a weird look which is a pretty hard thing to accomplish in Vegas.

This was our "classy" hotel choice. I can't resist a place that might house a dragon.

 

As it turns out Danny ended up with Coombsy but I got the real short end of the stick. I spent my night huddled on the edge of the bed fending off wild blows from McKell's elbows cursing the decision to which we had come. We are all grateful though that I  can manage to drive well even on a few hours of restless slumber since I had a seven hour drive ahead of me in the morning and we didn't want to drive.

 

As the Vegas trip drew to a close we had come to appreciate Coombsy's stance on women and his desire to not be alone in a Vegas hotel bed. Never again will I be able to hear the name Beverly and not smile. 

the Dukes See a Movie: X Men First Class

As we first started hearing about this movie we were a little worried. In our opinion the X Men series hadn't been nearly as good as it should have been. X3 for example was pretty awful and caused a lot of rage to build up in our hearts. We are very forgiving when it comes to movies and are also eternal optimists. We waited to hear more about the movie before we gave up entirely on the franchise. The first step was the cast release. I think James McAvoy is a great actor (think Last King of Scotland rather than Wanted) and I was excited to see Kevin Bacon as a villain. Next came the previews and I was hooked, I knew I was going to see this movie. You won Hollywood, you always do. Ricky was still a little tentative in the weeks approaching the release but he put that aside and joined us for the movie.

The movie begins by showing us a little more about the early years of Charles Xavier (Professor X), Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto) and Raven (Mystique). We knew from the earlier movies that Erik had been in a concentration camp and while trying to escape the guards his power over metal started to reveal itself. After the gate incident Erik is taken before a Nazi leader (Kevin Bacon) and he is forced to try and use his powers. He seems unable to so his mother is brought in. I don't want to ruin the movie so I won't go into too much detail about what happens. Erik is taken in by this man and is trained but he holds a grudge against him for what was done. Charles had life much easier. We see him growing up in a large estate with pretty much anything he could want. One night he hears a noise and he goes to investigate. What he finds is a young Raven looking for food. He takes her in and they become like brother and sister.

We jump ahead a few years to 1962. Charles has just graduated from Oxford and is loving life. Erik on the other hand is chasing after the man he loathes. Raven is still with Charles but she isn't too happy about having to hide who she truly is. This may be as good a time as any to bring up eye candy. I think it had plenty for the ladies. I base my judgment on the comments coming from Lindsey and Stacy (mainly Lindsey) about how a scene would have been better had it been shirtless. Don't worry men you shouldn't feel left out at all. It has a very balanced level of eye candiness for both genders. Now back to the story... Eventually Charles and Erik are brought together and they become friends. Each one wants to bring together mutants so that they can be taught. As the plot moves along we see that while they start from the same point each has a much different goal and point of view on the relationship mutants and humans should have. Charles wants to try to work with the humans to better the world while Erik wants to show the humans that the mutants are superior in every way.

I don't want to ruin the story so all I will say is that the mutants are involved in the Cuban Missile Crisis and we see how Magneto and Professor X end up going their separate ways.

 As I left this movie I was very happy for several reasons.

1. The acting was impeccable.
2. The story was fantastic.
3. It had one of the greatest cameos ever courtesy of Hugh Jackman.
4. It gave the Dukes hope for the future of the franchise.
5. I always like going to movies with friends so why wouldn't I be happy?

We the Dukes would like to recommend this movie to anyone looking for a well done action type movie.


4.5 stars

The Dukes See a Movie: Fast Five

Another Wednesday was upon us with nothing to do so we turned to our staple, the movie theater.  It seems that our motto is when in doubt watch something. This time we ended up seeing Fast Five. (See Pirates review to see our stance on overhyped movies and strung out franchises.) Usually this wouldn't have made our list of movies to see, but it managed to get decent rating from critics and the public so we decided to give it a try.

As the movie starts out you find out that all the main characters are on the run. As to why we don't know. That is mainly our fault since none of us had seen past the second movie. Personally I only ever saw the first one. Needless to say we were a little confused but we pushed past it in hopes of action. Paul Walker and his lady agree to do a job boosting some cars but it turns out that there was more behind it than just the cars. 100 million dollars more in fact. One of the cars belonged to a drug lord that was running the city of Rio de Janeiro. Inside the car was a chip that included information about all of the routes and locations of his fortune. Vin Diesel shows up and says they need a crew so they start gathering up people that had been in all of the Fast and the Furious movies.

Here is where Ricky and I hit a little snag. The Brazilian drug lord talks about how he would like to take the Portuguese approach to expansion which involves gifts and being nice as opposed to the Spanish model of violence. Ricky argues that the Spanish method works better because there are more people that speak Spanish. Here is my argument. Spain has a population of 46 million. Portugal has a population of 10.6 million. There are 431.6 million Spanish speakers in the world (according to Wikipedia) and there are 245.8 million Portuguese speakers in the world. Using a simple ratio there are 9.4 Spanish speakers in the world for every person in Spain but on the other hand there are 23.2 Portuguese speakers for every person in Portugal. Therefore the Portuguese method was more effective based on the ratio of each country's population compared to the total amount of people that speak each language. In other words Ricky and Spain can choke on those numbers.

Back to the movie. If you have seen any of the movies I am guessing they all have similar ideas. The main characters are bad but in a lovable rogue type of way. They do illegal things but they have semi-pure motives. In this particular one they are attempting to steal the drug lord's money while evading the Under Armour sporting Rock. They make a plan and are about to put it in motion when the Rock shows up talking about how they are ninnies for putting a tracker on his car because he is the man. This set up what we had been waiting for, a fight between the Rock and Vin Diesel.

Bald people are so angry. ( I am looking at you Spencer)

The fighting is intense but it ends with all the car jackers in custody. As they are heading out of town there is an ambush and the Rock loses his entire squad. Because of this loss he decides to help the criminals so that he can get revenge on the man who killed his men, the drug lord.

All in all I found this to be an enjoyable movie as long as you suspend your belief that the laws of physics apply in this  movie. It even had some decent Portuguese speaking which is nice for those of us that miss it from time to time. (Jordana Brewster spent part of her childhood in Brazil so that helps.) Sadly it doesn't have as much car racing and fighting as I was hoping, but it had a lot of eye candy for the men as well as for the ladies. That last part has pushed the Dukes to contemplate moving to Brazil because I can in all honesty say that it is a fairly accurate representation of that wonderful country.

Rating 3 stars

The Dukes See a Movie: House Bunny (The First Live Blog)

Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen!

Here we have the majority of The Dukes (Zac, Moorman, and myself (Ricky)) and Mary Mo (Morgan) sitting in Morgans living room watching the movie House Bunny, and we've decided to live blog about it and see what happens. I honestly have never considered doing a live blog before so i'm just completely winging it, i'll like pass this off to Zac or Moorman shortly. The movie is a Happy Madison production which usually works for me, I'm not sure if I trust Mary Mo on this one though. So far we have the normal "look lots of hot girls" thing, and the hot girls are of course pretty ditzy, so that's par for the course on movies like that, but bonus points for having Shaquille O'Neil on the cameo. However i've decided that no man should wear a vest without a shirt, that is an incredible fashion faux pa. Oops, she just got kicked out of the mansion, hello first plot point. And the guy wearing a vest without a shirt just got attacked by a cat, that's why  you wear shirts. At this point i'm just rambling, but the movie has been pretty entertaining thus far. Apparently there is a code for unlawful spitting in california. She looks quite good for just getting out of prison. And Morgan is asleep. She's just stumbled across the sorority house and compared it to a mini-playboy mansion. I'm not sure how the sororities across America feel about this. So this one time i took a jackass and honeycomb to a brothel....Shooter McGavin just entered the movie, which makes me super happy, and Emma Watson, who is also an exceptionally good looking lady. And now she is talking like Batman, or at least how Abed talks when he's dressed as Batman. So the message so far, nerdy girls don't know how to do anything with boys, and playboy bunnies are idiots. I want an Abraham Lincoln mouse, I want one now. And here is Zac...

How come real car washes are never like this? If they were I would probably have a much cleaner car and a quicker path to hell. I also agree with the movie that people with body braces are just like the tinman from the Wizard of Oz and should be made fun of. Tom Hanks the younger is in this movie! (Think Orange County) New plot point is developing, hot bunny and Tom Jr. are gonna hook up. Quick side note college is really nothing like this and if it were no one would graduate and the world would come to a crashing halt. I LOVE KARAOKE AND YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SAY YES TO IT! I always knew my singing was sexy. Take that all you doubters.

New best line: Do you wanna get cut bitch?. Make me laugh. I should start using statements like "my heart is going to fall out of my head" but i don't think i could bring myself to be that stupid. Ok they just had a pig attack so that means we're all going to become proper girls and get all dressed and learn how to flirt. Also I have what I feel is a completely legitimate question...where do they get al the money for the makeover and clothes, and the sod they just put down in yard. I mean seriously, have you looked into prices for sod. I just did it and couldn't find anything, but i'm assuming it's not cheap. So yeah. All the girls are all hot now and they're dancing with all the old people so yay for volunteering. Well the battery is dying on this laptop that we're using so I'm gonna sign off and pass it to Zac, the movie is mildly interesting, I'm sure we'll finish the review later.

To answer Ricky's query about sod prices I know that in 2000 it cost around 750 dollars to sod a third acre. So he is right about how it isn't cheap. Why would someone willingly keep wearing a full body brace... They did not just pull out a Forrest Gump scene.  They did and it was super awesome and I will tell you why. One it is always fun riffing off of other movies and Tom Hanks the younger is there so it is okay. It doesn't matter that he is not in that scene so stop judging. Yay for stealing movie ideas! I have decided I hate laptop keyboards on account of my gorilla fingers. For all those interested we are having a sexy costume party this weekend because why shouldn't we? Lies! It said guys don't like girls that are too smart. I find that to be awesome so this movie can suck it.


...And this is the point where Morgan's laptop lost power and we were unable to rouse her from her slumber to charge it up. I guess that makes it a sad day for all you readers because we are not going to finish this review. Blame Morgan if you must cast blame somewhere.

The Dukes See a Movie:Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

We the Dukes have never claimed to be above hyped up movies and strung out film franchises, and now that the formalities are out of the way I can get down to reviewing this movie. Pirates of the Caribbean has been one of my favorite rides at Disneyland for several decades now. (The mid nineties until now at least) Not because it was the best but because in the heat of the summer it is a nice ride to just relax and cool down. Plus the line is never super long. If you had asked me a decade or so ago if an 8 minute ride at Disneyland could be made into four well made and enjoyable movies I would have bet everything against it and I would have been right. Pirates two and three were pretty dang terrible movies. With that sour taste still linger in our mouths and minds we still somehow ended up going to see this movie.

It was my hope that with the removal of dead weight (Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley and their awful love story garbage) and the addition of some new faces (mainly Ian McShane because he can act whereas Penelope Cruz cannot. Okay that was mean; she does a great job in her Spanish films so I take some of it back. Some.) that this series could be rejuvinated. So with this is mind we went in to watch Johnny Depp pirate it up once more.

The movie starts with Gibbs (mutton chopped drunkard from the other movies) being put on trial in London as Jack Sparrow. It just so happens that the real Jack Sparrow has taken the place of the judge and he manages to get the two of them out of the courtroom whole. While riding out of town Gibbs asks if it is true that Jack is putting together a crew to sail to the fountain of youth. Jack claims he isn't but he means to find out who is behind the sullying of his name.

A few daring escapes and fights later we now know that Penelope Cruz was the one acting like Jack and that there are three crews attempting to find the Fountain. They are as follows: Blackbeard (Ian McShane) and his crew of zombies and a captive clergyman and a captive Jack Sparrow, the English privateers captained by a one legged Barbosa, and the Spanish. To use the fountain's power several things are needed. They are two silver chalices from the ship of Ponce De Leon and a mermaid tear.

So the bulk of the movie is the three groups trying to get the items before the others and the fighting between them. A couple things about this movie bothered me. I shall make a list of them since I love lists.

1. The new characters were very poorly developed at times. I felt nothing for the clergyman and most of the new crews.
2. This one is actually a branch off of the first one. There is a love story involving the clergyman and a mermaid but the movie doesn't make me care about them at all. When you think he is dead you feel nothing, nothing at all for him. I would feel more for a man who lost his sandwich than I do for this man. The mermaid was a little better but not by much.
3. When the mermaid is on land she has legs. They don't seem to work but the muscles are too well toned and developed for that to be the case. I think she was just lazy and wanted to be carried.
4. Last of all was the random magic that Blackbeard possessed. His sword could control his ship and other ships as well. I don't mind that he can do that but I do mind that it never tells you how he came by that power. If there is to be magic I demand an explanation as to why it is there. They explained all the other random things in this movie series but not this and that bothers me.

To be fair I didn't mind this movie. I thought it was better than the 2nd and 3rd movies. I don't feel like I wasted several hours of my life but it isn't one I will see again in the theater. From what I hear they have an agreement to make a total of 8 Pirates movies. I don't know how I feel about that but if I know the Dukes we will probably end up seeing them anyways.

Rating 3 stars

Stuff Coombsy Says...and Does: Travel Edition

Coombsy is one loveable rogue. It is an undeniable fact, nay a law of nature. Part of this charm comes from the fact that we are never quite sure what he is going to do. Today I am going to share two stories with you to help prove my point.

For years Coombsy fought the idea of owning a cell phone. He thought it would "put him on the grid" so to speak and he wanted none of that. It made getting a hold of him a little bit harder but because it was Coombsy we did it anyways. There came a day where several attempts to reach him at home failed. Sad of heart and downtrodden the Dukes waited for another day to try again. the next day came but with the same results. Coombsy was nowhere to be found. It was causing a mild sense of panic for those of us who were in dire need of a Coombsy fix. The fear and worry got to the point where we were willing to ask his family if they knew what had happened to him, but alas they were as in the dark as we were.

Hours turned to days and days turned into a few more days until finally Coombsy magically appeared with an incredibly random reason for his absence.  HE HAD GONE THE GRAND CANYON BY HIMSELF. That is right, he randomly got the idea that it was something he wanted to see so he got in his car and left. He went and told no one. Not the Dukes, not his family, no one. The best part is he did all this without a cell phone or a real reason to go.

He looks like the type of man that doesn't want the government all up in his business.

Later on in his life Coombsy had finally given in to society and was the owner of a cell phone. He also decided it was time to visit his brother up in Oregon. Don't worry we were well aware of this trip. He went up and enjoyed himself for several days. Sadly the time came for him to come home and rejoin the daily grind.

Coombsy, our intrepid traveler, got up early in the morning and headed for home. I think now is a good time for me to let you in on a condition Coombsy has been suffering with for years. His sense of direction is completely backwards. It usually just manifests itself in him incorrectly saying whether he is going down or up to a certain place (one of my pet peeves). This day however would have far more dire results.

He was traveling a fair clip and thought to himself that he was making great time. For hours it continued on this way. "Surely I must be nearing Boise now" (To get back to Salt Lake from Oregon you either go through Boise or Winnemucca and you never should go to Winnemucca unless you want to be a part of the Winnemucca Run-a-mucca bike rally.) As he thought those fateful words this is what he saw.

That's right he was in Seattle. He had driven for hours in the completely wrong direction. Needless to say he was not a happy camper. After a brief stop at a gas station to look at a map to double check his locale he made his lonely sojourn back south. Like any sane person he couldn't face the entire drive in one go so he spent another night with his brother.
These are the things that make Coombsy Coombsy and in my opinion that is what he gets for constantly saying going down to Logan and going up to Provo.

The Dukes See a Movie: Thor

 In rating and reviewing this movie I must admit some bias. My Dad was born in Sweden and because of this I am a fan of almost all things Scandinavian: Swedish meatballs, IKEA, The Swedish Chef, Bjorn Borg, ABBA and the Swedish Bikini Team. I have also been known to call to my native Gods for some “Viking Power” to smite my enemies or more likely to win at a game of air hockey. So with all of these things swaying my vote I will do my best to be an impartial judge of this movie. 


Going into this movie I was hoping for the best but I was a little nervous for a few reasons. The first reason being the fact that Kenneth Branagh (Gilderoy Lockhart in Harry Potter) was directing the movie. Don't get me wrong I have enjoyed many of the films he has directed but he had almost exclusively dealt in all things Shakespearean. I didn't know how that would translate to an action film.  Second I wasn't sure how Chris Hemsworth would do as Thor since his biggest role to date had been him as James T. Kirk's father in the most recent Star Trek movie. Luckily for myself and the millions of others who went to see the movie both played out their roles very well.


The movie starts with a quick glimpse of Thor and Loki as children while they are being told that one day one of them would be king and that it is quite a responsibility. It quickly changes to show an adult Thor full of swagger heading up to his father Odin to be crowned king. As he is about to receive this honor one of the vaults holding their enemies greatest weapons is attacked. The guardian takes care of the problem but the situation leads to Thor showing off his impetuous nature. Thor demands that they go to war with the frost giants. He claims it is to put them in their place but it is more so he can gain personal glory in combat. Odin tells him that by no means can he leave Asgard(their home) to fight. Thor being himself leaves with his friends and brother and attacks the Frost Giants. Because of this attack war is declared and Odin banishes Thor to Earth and strips him of his power. He does send down Mjolnir(Thor's battle hammer) and says that whosoever has the right heart...or something...with be able to wield the power of Thor. While he is gone Loki starts plotting to take over the kingdom which is totally what the God of mischief would do.


To be honest I think that the director's background in Shakespeare helped this movie in a good number of ways. I think it led to better character development and it blended the action in with the comedy very well. All the supporting actors did a great job as well to make me love this movie (almost as much as I love Bjorn Borg. He is the real reason why I started wearing a headband for tennis.).

He even kind of looks like Thor.

So to wrap things up I really enjoyed this movie. The acting was great, the directing was well done and there were some rather funny lines that kept this movie a lighthearted affair. There has been talk of a Thor 2 and 3 and personally I hope it happens so I won't feel as out of place when I bust out my Viking costume and start to pillage the surrounding countryside. I also will be able to use new phrases to show I am surprised or outraged like "by Odin's beard!" or "by the ghosts of Valhalla!" or "by Loki's slacks!"(ok so all of them didn't work but it is a work in progress).


Rating 4.5 stars