Friday, January 7, 2011

The Dukes See a Movie: The Season of The Witch or How Danny was impregnated by a demon.

The Season of The Witch, starring Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman, as crusaders helped us discover something very interesting tonight. Danny has been impregnated by a demon. How is this possible you may ask. First and foremost, one must understand that gingers have no souls. That being said, they fall as easy pray for demons seeking "friends with benefits". Normal people on the other hand have what can be called a "soul barrier" which keeps them from falling prey to the wiles of any netherbeast. In one scene in the movie, there is what may be called a "demon birth" where in the girl who was possessed is *spoiler alert* released from the demons possesion. At this point you see her lying naked on floor (no you don't see anything) covered in ectoplasmic matter (thank you Ghostbusters). After discussing this point with The Dukes, we decided that was demon placenta. Danny on the other hand said "no, demon placental matter would be black" to which Ricky responded "how would you know?" and so it began. Danny's farts began to hurt and we came to the medical conclusion, that they were "butt contractions" and that Danny had been impregnated by a demon. Danny took this news stoically to say the least. Upon discussing the plans for birthing, Danny voiced his concern about getting placental matter on the back seat. Also voiced was the concern of who would raise the demon baby, once Danny jumped ship. Ricky was named the godfather of the child. All in all it was an exceptionally average movie. Though the action was scarce, it succeeded in keeping our attention for the whole 90 minutes. If you're looking to burn five bucks and night of your life, it's worth it. If your looking for a resurrection of Nicolas Cage's carreer you'll have to wait until "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengance"

2 1/2 stars

- The Dukes

If you look closely, you can see the father of Danny's baby.

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